Missed Memories
by Ayumu Foxtail-chan
Summary: Mira knew she'd missed countless moments and precious memories with Lisanna over those two years. Ones that she could never get back, no matter how much she tried.


_**Missed Memories**_

If someone were to ever ask Mirajane Strauss what she enjoyed most, she would smile, her eyes holding a sparkle of joy and nostalgia, and say that she enjoyed spending time with her siblings more than anything in the world. For those that knew her well, the answer wouldn't have been surprising at all.

Mira remembered every single day, every single second, every single important moment in both of her sibling's lives. She remembered teaching Elfman to tie his shoes. She remembered the look of admiration on his face when he first saw her use her magic, and the excited words spilling out of his mouth afterwards, telling her that he wanted her to teach him how to transform, too. She remembered when he lost his bird, how he'd cried, and how he'd cried again when it'd come back. She would giggle sometimes to herself when she remembered how little and helpless Elfman used to seem, grateful in many ways that he'd now found his own strength and courage to move forward.

Mira remembered how Lisanna used to call her "Miwa", and how she'd given her piggyback rides almost every day. She remembered when Natsu joined the guild and she saw a new light in Lisanna's eyes when she mentioned his name. She remembered how joyous her little sister had looked when she'd raised Happy's egg with Natsu, and she also remembered watching day-by-day as Lisanna slowly grew into a beautiful and confident young woman.

Lisanna was kind and patient, just like Mira herself was today. Back then Mira remembered admiring those qualities in her sister, so young and yet so wise, and compassionate far beyond her years. She wondered if subconsciously the reason why she'd found herself turning so sweet and tame after Lisanna's passing was because she not only admired that about her sister, but so that Lisanna's kindness could live on in the world through her, somehow.

But most treasured in her heart, she remembered the many times she'd sat back and watched her brother and sister laugh with one another, bicker, or sometimes even simply sit in contented silence together.

Back then she hadn't been at all what one would consider the mothering type. She was brash, foolhardy, and a little mean at times, but on the inside the strong and nearly overpowering love for her younger siblings burned steadily. She took care of them how she could, and tried her best to remember every single second with them.

Life was simple, and the veritable scrapbook of memories that grew every day inside of her head brought her peace. Until the day Lisanna died.

Mira still remembered the memories that followed Lisanna's death. She still clung to the moments of watching Elfman grow stronger on his own, driven internally by the fear of hurting someone he loved again. But it was different. She didn't have two siblings to spend time with anymore. She couldn't sit back quietly and watch as they interacted, creating memories of their own. She couldn't step back and watch them together, because now there was only one.

The memories seemed a little more dull after that. She still internalized every second she had now with Elfman, and the closer bond they formed through the tragedy, but something just wasn't the same.

When Anima came and they were transported to Edolas, only to find that Lisanna was still very much alive, simply residing in another world, it felt as if an iron fist had suddenly grabbed ahold of Mira's heart. She hugged her sister for the first time in years and with tears streaming down her face, she wasn't quite sure what to feel. Was she overjoyed? Was her heart breaking? She wasn't sure.

In the days and weeks that followed Lisanna's return, everyone sharing stories with her and welcoming her back, things began to change. The light that'd been gone had been switched back on. It wasn't that her time without Lisanna wasn't enjoyable, or something she didn't treasure, it was just that it was so much brighter when she knew she could share the memories with _both_ of her siblings once again.

It wasn't until months after they'd returned to Earthland that that clenching pain in her chest began to subside. The reality was that her sister was back, and while at first she'd been afraid it'd all been a dream, she had finally come to terms with the fact that it was no dream, and the precious days she spent with her sister, were now reality.

The gaping hole that Lisanna's death had put in her and Elfman's hearts was now healing, and the future that she'd always hoped for in the past, one where all three of them were side-by-side, like they'd always been, was now absolutely plausible.

Every once in a while Mira still wondered if she was dreaming, and thanked whatever gods were out there every single day that she had her sister back. But on top of that, it seemed her desire to retain every single memory had grown. If there was one thing that Lisanna's death had taught her, it was that life was short and at any given moment, it could be over. She took that as a lesson to enjoy the present fully, something she'd learned to do over the years Lisanna was gone. She'd still had her memories, but she'd lived them, instead of watching them pass her by and trying to remember every single second.

She kept that life lesson even after Lisanna returned, but she felt an angst pulling at her heartstrings that begged her to internalize and try to remember every single detail of every single moment, because she didn't know when that would be taken away from her again.

She was grateful beyond belief for every moment spent with Lisanna, and yet every once in a while something picked at the back of her mind that made her feel a little… bittersweet, and after a while, she could finally put a finger on exactly what it was.

Two years. Two entire years had passed for Lisanna and she hadn't gotten to see any of it. Lisanna had left her as a blossoming young woman, and come back to her as a confident adult. Where were all the events that helped shape her? Where were all the moments as she grew? Where were all the memories that she could've had with her, but had been taken away from her and had in some other world?

Whenever those thoughts, those heartbreaking thoughts, hit her, that stabbing pain in her chest would return. She'd missed so much in those years away from her. Lisanna could tell her stories and give her the pieces to the puzzle of those two years, but Mira would never be able to see them for herself.

She knew that focusing on such a depressing thought wouldn't get her anywhere, and yet she couldn't help but think about it from time to time. Lisanna had learned a new takeover, but she hadn't been there to see her train for it. Lisanna had stories to tell of her time away, but ones that would never be shared in person.

Whenever the thoughts of the two lost years began to plague Mira, she'd put a hand to her chest, taking a deep breath and forcing a smile onto her face. She'd learned through Lisanna's death to live in the present, and yet here she was, dwelling on the past, and something she couldn't change.

It took her a long while to come to terms with those two years. She struggled with the missed memories, and she struggled with keeping herself in the "now" with Lisanna, all grown up and yet the same girl she'd always known.

Mira supposed that that fact: still seeing the same little girl she used to know in Lisanna's actions and words, was what helped her overcome it. Because yes, she'd missed that time in her sister's life and no, she couldn't ever get it back, but that time had been needed. Lisanna was happy with who she was, and so were Mira and Elfman, and she knew for a fact that had those two years not occurred, they wouldn't be anywhere close to who they were today.

And in the end, she found herself a happy medium.

She kept herself in the present, focusing on making new memories that could be treasured forever with both Elfman and Lisanna, but she also allowed herself to feel the sadness that came with knowing she'd never get those two years with her sister back, when she'd been in a place so different than the guild that they called home.

And in the end, she realized that to be truly thankful for all she had, and to truly appreciate the memories she was making every day, that there had to be some sadness, some bittersweet memories, and some things she couldn't change which left a dull ache in her heart.

Because one has to have experienced true sadness and heartbreak, and keep the memories associated with it, to be able to understand and identify happiness. And while those memories and the thought of the two years gone were enough to make her heart twinge painfully, they were also what put the brightest of smiles on her face as she watched her siblings enjoy life, knowing that there was no other place she'd rather be.

* * *

 _The Sinnoh League Challenge - Twinleaf Town part 3 - write about watching someone grow up - from a sibling's POV_

 **Just a random little odd fic (that I hope wasn't confusing ;3) about something I've thought about for Mira for a while. I just feel as if she'd be bothered somewhat by that missed time, even if she is eternally grateful to have Lisanna back.**

 **I just love the Strauss siblings; they definitely deserve more love!  
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and I'd love to hear what you thought of it! :D**

 **~Foxtail-chan**


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